Sisters

 

Before we found out if Claire would be a boy or girl, deep down, I was wanting another girl. Both my girls are destined to do great things. I just know it

 

While Im finding having a newborn the second time around much easier than the first time, being the parent of two children is by no means easy. More than anything Im finding the balancing of time difficult. In the end, someone misses out. Ella will never get the attention from me that she once had and I struggle to find the undivided time to give to Claire that I gave to Ella as a newborn.

I am so glad I am breastfeeding Claire. It forces me to sit down and bond and spend time with her but newborns are consuming. And I wonder, how is all that time that Claire is consuming affecting Ella. Yet Ella got that undivided attention from me as a newborn so what makes Claire deserve less? Since Claire came home, Ella has wanted to be a part of all that goes on wiht Claire. So I am trying to include Ella in as much as possible. Even if it is fine you scrub Claire's foot while I wash the rest of her.

With the stress of work and lack of sleep and mothering two young children it means you have days that you don't win mother of the year award. Somehow though the sun sets and rises and your children still love you just the same. Even though it is hard, I would never give this up for something else. Even when I am not at my best my children love me unconditionally. What could be more amazing than that?

 

 

Even though I was uncertain about having children this close in age and how that would affect them, I feel like they have been given a gift. The gift of sisterhood.

 



I hope they are forever best friends. I want to do my best at encouraging and facilitating that relationship. I want to start by trying my best to never compare them in looks, brains, or ability. I believe every person has a gift, a special talent, something they are good at. I want to nurture my girls individual differences and talents and hope their commonalities that bring them together.

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While I thought I would have more time to blog on maternity leave, I am finding it more difficult than ever to find the time. I go back to work full time next week and Tom is back in school so I doubt it will get any easier. I will continue to try to blog about both girls equally but in all honesty this is probably a turning point in the blog where I begin to write less about Ella and more about Claire.  I think there comes a point for all mom's who blog where their child reaches an age where its no longer ok to put up stories about misbehavior or embarrassing moments. Ella is about to start school and I never want her to look back on this blog and be upset about anything that was shared or said. I will still tell stories and share pictures but I think its time that her life becomes a bit more private. It doesn't mean that I love her any less but rather that I love her that much.

School visit

Tuesday Ella's school had their open house. School started for the older kids on Wednesday and then they gradually start the rest of the kids based on age and Montessori experience. Ella will be with the last group to start. Tuesday we were able to go and check out her classroom, there were popsicles on the playground, and to meet other kids and parents.  The school goes up to 8th grade. Hundreds of kids attend this school. There are three preschool classes ages3-6 that have 28 or so kids in each. 

We had to drop off Ella's supplies as well. She needs a pair of "slippers" for the classroom (the Tom's below). These shoes she will change into every morning when she arrives and they are only worn in the classroom. Lot of Montessori work is done on the floor and this prevents shoes from tracking in dirt. She needs rain boots as they garden outside, play in the creek, hike, go out in rainy weather, etc. Her new backpack which she was so excited about it the day it arrived she screamed, hugged it, and immediately had to go pack it. There's also a change of clothes and your general school supplies such as glue, markers, kleenex, etc

These are two of Ella's three teachers, Megan and Theresa. These are the two that came to visit at the house last week. Both have a bachelors in Montessori education from Xavier.

In Montessori their tasks are called works. Ella was able to check out all the work in the classroom and get some out and do them. She absolutely loved her classroom and didn't want to leave it. 

The property the school is on is beautiful. Its situated on a few hundred acres. There are tons of gardens and flowers everywhere. There is a flowing creek and an awesome playground. Ella was really excited about the huge sand pit. We spent a lot of time checking out the property. 

There is even a "fairy garden" which of course she loves.

Each preschool classroom has its own porch the kids can garden on, eat lunch on, do lessons, etc

And of course by the end she was tired of pictures

She absolutely loves her school and I hear the pure joy and excitement in her voice every time she talks about it. That definitely helps me because this whole preschool thing is terrifying for me. Just one more step towards my baby growing up

1 month

I cannot believe that Claire is already a month old today. I swear I just gave birth to her yesterday. Or so it seems. And now I am preparing to return to work in just two short weeks. With work and a toddler I honestly feel like I haven't had just even one full day to relax with Claire and do absoultely nothing.

I feel like we have adjusted well to Claire joining our lives. While it is much more busy with her here, it feels like she has always been a part of our family. I can say that I feel much more confident the second time around with a newborn. I feel with all the bag of tricks I picked up in Ellas three years that I know my newborn well and know just what she needs and how to soothe her.

Tomorrow will be the first time that I leave her. Unfortunately I am unable to take her to work with me as I have therapy I have to complete with families. She will be in good hands with Leslie but I absolutely hate the thought of leaving my tiny four week old.

I wasn't able to capture any smiles but this week brings lots of intentional smiles from Claire. She loves when you talk to her and has even been attempting to coo. Last night was her first night in her own room in her own bed. She did not cry but all her normal grunting and noises were magnified by ten on the monitor so I didn't get much sleep. She is up in her bed now and quiet so I am hoping for a good night as 6am will come quick. Claire loves taking baths, being swaddled, and watching Ella. She has been awake a lot more this week.

Sleep: Lately she has been falling asleep by 9pm at the latest and typically wakes two times to eat in the middle of the night. She is often very gassy during her awake time; however, lately I have noticed her awake for longer periods and not quite as fussy.

Eating: She is still exclusively breastfed. She eats every three or so hours. I noticed that if she was fussy before three hours and I tried feeding her she would become even more fussy. I have been using gas drops every now and then and also plan to start her on probiotics soon. Ella has been on probiotics since before six months old.

Clothing and diapers. She is still in disposable diapers but I plan to very soon make the switch to cloth. I absolutely hate the thought of using disposable for cost, chemicals that are then on the baby, and the effect on the environment. She just switched from newborn size to size one although I have to say size one is huge on her. She is mostly still in newborn clothing. I swear this girl has a long torso and super short legs!

Tonight was our first night with Tom back at school. It actually went really smoothly as far as dinner, getting both the girls bath and in bed. Hoping that continues.
Dear Claire Bear: You have been with us one month. While we are still getting to know you we could not love you more. You are my sweet little cuddle bug. You are a book that has yet to be written. The possibilities are endless.
 And just like Albert Einstein said:

There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle
We love you Claire. I cant wait to see what our journey together brings

The princess will be starting school

Anna and Joe have been going to Leslie's all summer while school is out. Joe is five and Anna is seven. Ella absolutely loves them and they all play so nicely together. Thursday was their last day at Leslie's since school starts next week. Leslie decided to make it a back to school party since Ella's last week is next week. Ella chose the attire, princess attire of course. So Anna wore her best dress and Joe dressed up as a knight. They made crowns, had cake, etc.

She didn't want to take anymore pics. Lol

3 weeks at lightening speed

 

1 week old

The week following Claire's birth Ella went back to Leslie's part time. I wanted her to have some consistency to the schedule she has had since she was six months old plus I want some time to rest and bond with Claire while on leave. I know first hand how quickly babies grow up. I am taking complete advantage of enjoying every moment of Claire and not wishing for the next moment, the next phase, for her to grow up. The first week of Claire's life I did nothing but snuggle and breastfeed my baby, take naps with her, and stare at her for literally hours. I remember doing it with Ella as well. There is nothing better than staring at a newborn baby. I love watching her face as she dreams and listening to her grunts. She grunts A LOT. Even though I've gone through the birth of a child before, I am still amazed each time I look at both their faces and know they are mine, I created them, they came from me. There is nothing more awesome on the face of the earth. The first week we also tried to get back to normalcy. Ella did amazingly well from the first day we brought Claire home.

I am also amazed with both pregnancies and deliveries how quickly the body recovers. With this delivery I literally had no pain. Not immediately after birth, not an hour later, not the next day, not at all. I also was five pounds away from pre pregnancy weight the day I got home from the hospital and lower than pre pregnancy weight by the end of the first week. Claire on the other hand had already gained 6oz by the time she was a week old. 

2 weeks old

I do not believe you can spoil a baby and there is no such thing as holding them too much. So of course at two weeks old I spent more time holding Claire and including Ella in everything.

Unfortunately at two weeks old I also went back to work for about five to six hours a day one time per week. Luckily I am able to take Claire with me for the time being.

I am recognizing that a newborn is much easier the second time around. I have to admit though that Claire seems to sleep A LOT more than Ella did and does not scream for hours in the evening. Claire seems to be getting on a good night schedule quicker than Ella did. I think part of what makes parenting the second child easier is one-the experience you already have and two-no matter what challenges you face you know that they will pass, there will be an end in sight. And unfortunately once you get past all the challenges you realize how you miss that little baby you once wished when pass that challenging phase. I am trying to appreciate it all, every single moment, the good and the bad.

Claire is super gassy which makes her grunt tons when she is awake and seems to make her a bit fussy when awake. She doesn't cry or scream thankfully.

3 weeks old

This week I found out that I will be returning to work after six weeks. While I feel like I am rejoining the real world this week with getting more sleep, getting up early again, finding time for my whole family it is hitting me how little time I have left to be home with Claire. I am truly devastated that I will not be able to spend the time with Claire that I spent with Ella. I knew this from the beginning with this being a new job, I guess I was just hoping that somehow it would change by the time Claire got here.

This week it is hitting me that I have let my housework go for weeks, it is hitting me that while I sat and stared at my baby all the things I neglected are piling up, its hitting me that my baby is so tiny and fragile and not ready to be away from me, its hitting me that she is not on the sleep schedule I need her to be on to survive work, its hitting me that Tom returns to school next week and three days a week I will be responsible for two little human beings. Its also hitting me that while Ella has done amazing with this transition there are also a few behaviors that pop up that were never there before and I lately get easily frustrated with her and feel that I am failing her as a mother. Its hitting me that I dont have the relationship with her that I used to and not sure I will have the individual time with her to ever have that again. Its hitting me that if I had twelve weeks rather than six many of these things could be put on the back burner awhile longer or there would be more time to fix the things that need fixed.

But then I remember that I know where my babies sleep each night, they are here, I can hug them and kiss their faces, they know I love them, I can play and talk with them in this messy house, they are safe, and in the long run everything will work out just fine.