3 weeks at lightening speed

 

1 week old

The week following Claire's birth Ella went back to Leslie's part time. I wanted her to have some consistency to the schedule she has had since she was six months old plus I want some time to rest and bond with Claire while on leave. I know first hand how quickly babies grow up. I am taking complete advantage of enjoying every moment of Claire and not wishing for the next moment, the next phase, for her to grow up. The first week of Claire's life I did nothing but snuggle and breastfeed my baby, take naps with her, and stare at her for literally hours. I remember doing it with Ella as well. There is nothing better than staring at a newborn baby. I love watching her face as she dreams and listening to her grunts. She grunts A LOT. Even though I've gone through the birth of a child before, I am still amazed each time I look at both their faces and know they are mine, I created them, they came from me. There is nothing more awesome on the face of the earth. The first week we also tried to get back to normalcy. Ella did amazingly well from the first day we brought Claire home.

I am also amazed with both pregnancies and deliveries how quickly the body recovers. With this delivery I literally had no pain. Not immediately after birth, not an hour later, not the next day, not at all. I also was five pounds away from pre pregnancy weight the day I got home from the hospital and lower than pre pregnancy weight by the end of the first week. Claire on the other hand had already gained 6oz by the time she was a week old. 

2 weeks old

I do not believe you can spoil a baby and there is no such thing as holding them too much. So of course at two weeks old I spent more time holding Claire and including Ella in everything.

Unfortunately at two weeks old I also went back to work for about five to six hours a day one time per week. Luckily I am able to take Claire with me for the time being.

I am recognizing that a newborn is much easier the second time around. I have to admit though that Claire seems to sleep A LOT more than Ella did and does not scream for hours in the evening. Claire seems to be getting on a good night schedule quicker than Ella did. I think part of what makes parenting the second child easier is one-the experience you already have and two-no matter what challenges you face you know that they will pass, there will be an end in sight. And unfortunately once you get past all the challenges you realize how you miss that little baby you once wished when pass that challenging phase. I am trying to appreciate it all, every single moment, the good and the bad.

Claire is super gassy which makes her grunt tons when she is awake and seems to make her a bit fussy when awake. She doesn't cry or scream thankfully.

3 weeks old

This week I found out that I will be returning to work after six weeks. While I feel like I am rejoining the real world this week with getting more sleep, getting up early again, finding time for my whole family it is hitting me how little time I have left to be home with Claire. I am truly devastated that I will not be able to spend the time with Claire that I spent with Ella. I knew this from the beginning with this being a new job, I guess I was just hoping that somehow it would change by the time Claire got here.

This week it is hitting me that I have let my housework go for weeks, it is hitting me that while I sat and stared at my baby all the things I neglected are piling up, its hitting me that my baby is so tiny and fragile and not ready to be away from me, its hitting me that she is not on the sleep schedule I need her to be on to survive work, its hitting me that Tom returns to school next week and three days a week I will be responsible for two little human beings. Its also hitting me that while Ella has done amazing with this transition there are also a few behaviors that pop up that were never there before and I lately get easily frustrated with her and feel that I am failing her as a mother. Its hitting me that I dont have the relationship with her that I used to and not sure I will have the individual time with her to ever have that again. Its hitting me that if I had twelve weeks rather than six many of these things could be put on the back burner awhile longer or there would be more time to fix the things that need fixed.

But then I remember that I know where my babies sleep each night, they are here, I can hug them and kiss their faces, they know I love them, I can play and talk with them in this messy house, they are safe, and in the long run everything will work out just fine.