I have been really bad about blogging lately. I think it is a combination of a lot of different things. The three of us are really trying to find a new family balance with Tom in law school. A month and a half into the program and we are, without shock, discovering that work and school take up ALL.of.his.time. He is at work all day, at school three evenings a week, and all the time he is home is taken up by homework. LITERALLY. Ella and I have been staying very busy and staying consistent with her routine. By the time she goes to bed at night, Im exhausted and just want to veg out. Im feeling pretty ok with our new 'normal'. On the other hand Im seeing some of the effects of Tom being gone in Ella.
There have been a lot of changes in Ella's life the last two months. The two older kids (siblings) that have been at the sitter since the day she started have moved on to a kindergarten placement through school. When those two left, a few more new kids started, babies. Also, around the same time, school started for her at the sitters. AND at the same time Tom started school, which means he is away from her the majority of the time.
Ella is very observant and I know she notices all these changes. She asks me every morning and every evening if Im home with her or if Im going to work. She does the same with Tom just trying to sort out this new norm and who is where when. She also asks the sitter each day, starting around lunch, who is picking her up.
Since 6 months old Ella has been an amazing sleeper. She always went down happy (may have chatted with herself a bit) and went to sleep with no issues and slept through the night like a log. Since 6 months we have been very consistent (i mean no expeception to that rule) with once we put her in her crib, she is in there for the night, and no matter what (well ok unless she ends up sick in middle of night) we do not go back in. This has always worked in our favor, until recently that is. Around the time there were changes at the sitters and changes with Tom being in school there was also changes in her going to bed. We still do same routine of bath, books, bed. Around the time of all these changes in her life Ella started fighting bedtime. She is still fine up until the moment you put her in her crib. Then she starts complaining about the blankets, or saying dont leave me, or saying she cant go to sleep, or this or that or this or that. You name it. I know it is her way of trying to delay bedtime and hoping Ill stay and give in. Well we havent been. We give her a few more hugs and say Im sorry but its bedtime, its time to go to sleep, and Im going to leave.
Typically after literally 30sec to 2 min she realizes we arent coming back in and goes to sleep. Last night was the exception. She cried for one minute and then was quiet for another 20. Then she started with knocking on her crib and yelling knock knock. This lasted another 30 min. Then she started in with mamma in a calm voice which after another 30 min becaming increasinly agitated. I finally broke my number one rule for the first time ever and went in there. She had been carrying on too long. I told her its time for bed. Of course that started the whole crying cycle and the whole "I cant do it" cycle for another 20 min or so before she finally calmed down and slept. I dont know whats up. Well I do know its due to all the uncertainty and changes that have been going on. I guess I just didnt anticipate for it to last this long. I feel helpless in that all I can do is continue to be consistent with her and keep having conversations with the sitter so she is consistent at naptime. Its hard on all of us. I hate that Ella feels upset, I hate that we feel upset, and most of all I hate that I cant fix it.
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