The blog has been fairly quiet lately. Part of it has been the little time I have with meeting the needs of both the girls, and part of it has been intentional. I try to keep this blog pretty positive and for a few weeks nothing felt positive. I want this blog to be a reflection of our real life and with keeping things real, life is real, and life isn't always easy. It doesn't matter how good you have it, there are times when it feels like it down right sucks. All of you parents have had rough patches at one time or another, and if you say you haven't, well then you're lying. Claire was sick for a couple weeks. I have gone weeks, if not months, without more than a hour of straight sleep at a time. Claire used to sleep for up to six hours straight and now she is up at least once an hour. Sometimes twenty times an hour. I have come to the conclusion a pacifier is the devil. We will soon be getting rid of it. I can't seem to keep a clean house any longer. I have not had more than one hour away from the kids since the end of September and there have been periods of 72 hours or more where Claire literally has not left my side. My list of negative things those few weeks could go on an on. When you're in a funk pretty much eveything sucks. I think sleep is what got me the most. There were days I was so out of it I put chicken broth in my coffee in place of almond milk! I remember things being rough when Ella was around three to five months. Sleep sucked during that time to. I am trying not to wish the time away with Claire as she will more than likely be our last. I know though that better sleep is right on the horizon so at times I do wish she was a bit older. I have to say though that aside from the multiple wakings at night, I have been blessed with a beautiful baby with the most infectious smile and personality.
It has been two months since I left my job. Some days I love it and some days I miss having a career. I do not regret my decision and know that there was no way I could have ever stayed at the job I was at. Two days ago I snapped out of my funk. I am hoping for good. It's time to put on my big girl panties and truly enjoy this gift I have been given. Just this week I realized how I have witnessed, with my own eyes, the development of Claire's hand/eye coordination. Like minute by minute seen the progression and development of it. Like almost so closely that I can almost see neurons developing, firing, and making connections. Some may say so? Well, I say that's pretty damn amazing. And there are a million more moments like that with both Ella and Claire. And I get to sit here and watch them all, be a part of them all. And that is pretty damn amazing.
And who wouldn't love spending time with these beauties
No comments:
Post a Comment