Parenting.

There has been a facebook post going around from some random person lately that I irritates me every single time I see someone share it. I dont know why, but I cant get it out of my head so why not blog about it!

This is the post:

I may lose some friends over this post but here it goes: watching Kaden fall asleep earlier tonight I reflected on the disappointment I sometimes feel that I may never be the mom that makes cake pops for every holiday or hand crafts his Halloween costumes. . .. I can build a mean fort out of twine, sheets and 3m hooks and make an impressive Smurf city out of Legos but when he was a baby I did not feed him homemade organic baby food and sometimes wonder if he will be as healthy as the kids who's mothers did.
I have a friend who feels like a "bad mom" because she didn't send out Christmas Cards this year and another who is opening a new profit center for her business venture and feels "guilty"that she had to buy cookies at the store instead of hand making them for her son's school Christmas party.

Here is my point:
I'm Afraid that the pinterest era is turning us into wanna be Stepford freaks....I have friends who are pregnant with their first child and they are more overwhelmed with decisions like what kind of diapers the "best moms" buy than the things that will actually matter.

As mothers, the measures I believe we should judge ourselves on are actually simple: its not the size or "pinterest-worthiness" of their first birthday cake. It's the amount of unconditional love and affection we give to our children, the values and confidence we instill in them, the quality of the time we spend with them, the examples we set for them in our actions as their role models.....this to me includes how we treat others, the way we treat ourselves, the appreciation we show for family AND our demonstrated work ethic (whether its cleaning the kitchen, volunteering, or working on your next business plan) and lastly AND MOST IMPORTANTLY the effort we put into developing their faith in GOD. If this post makes even one fb mom think twice about beating herself up because she bought the cheaper brand of diapers tonight at Walmart; then it was completely worth posting what has officially been the longest fb status I have ever written. 

 

 

 

One of the biggest reasons I waited to have children was so that I could raise them the way I wanted to raise them. I wanted to give them my all, my everything. Not everyone agrees with giving their entire self to their child. Too each their own. I just know I brought my children into this world. They did not ask to be here. And for that, they deserve my very best. I wanted to be at a place in my life that I didn't resent them because I couldn't stay out late at night with my friends or buy those expensive shoes I want because instead I needed to pay for swim lessons. A long time ago I made decisions about the type of parent I wanted to be, not what someone else wanted me to be or what someone else wanted to be for their children. I just want to raise my children without being judged for how I raise them. 

To address the above Facebook status:

I make my own baby food. Thats right. I enjoy doing it. It's important to me that I instill healthy eating habits in my children right from the start and it's important to me that I know exacltly what is in the baby food I am putting in their small, vulnerable body. I breastfeed because it's the most natural thing in the world, its the perfect food, it's cheap, and it's an awesome way to spend quiet time with my baby.
I send out Christmas cards because I love photography and I think my kids are cute.
I cloth diaper. The lady above doesn't think it's an important decision but I think it is a huge decision that impacts a lot of different things. I cloth diaper because I want to minimize my environmental footprint, I do not want my baby sitting in harsh chemical, I want to save money.
I love the shit out of Pinterest. Not because I am trying to win a prize but because I love crafts, Ella loves crafts, and I am not crafty enough to come up with my own crafts. Enough said.
I pay for sports and memberships for my toddler because I think sports and social interaction builds character and self esteem.
The list could go on and on.
My kids get affection. They get love. They have fun. And a lot of times it's free, simple, down to earth fun

It offends me that there are people out there who feel parents make choices to win a prize or be a "stepford wife".  The only thing I am trying to win is the key to my children's hearts. To make them think I am the best mom for THEM. To love me unconditionally and feel like I did the best I could do for THEM. I'm so tired of the mommy wars. Raise your children how you see fit and I'll do the same. More mothers should support each other rather than judge. This job is hard enough, let alone another mother tearing you down because of the choices you have made.

I don't ever intend to say that I did better than someone else at motherhood. The race I'm running is only against myself. Each day I try to do better than the last. I try to be more patient, kind, understanding, empathetic, loving.
Just like the intention of this blog has never been to say my child is better than the next. I initially started this blog to keep family afar, and not on Facebook, updated on the day to day of Ella (and now Claire). These days though I keep the blog going for a different reason. A bit more selfish reason. Time goes so fast. I want to remember everything. I want to bottle up what a Tuesday afternoon felt and looked like. I want my girls to read, know, feel how much I loved them. I want to document our precious lives. Our precious time together. One day time will be gone. I will be gone.

So keep hugging and loving on your kids. And while you're at it, hug and love a mother that's struggling or give a high five to those that are parenting just the way they want to parent.